Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
