I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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