right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
