i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
