nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
