i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
