Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize