i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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