she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
