I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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