whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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