U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
