We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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