I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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