My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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