If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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