I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
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But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
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Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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