I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
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It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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