I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
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You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize