he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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