I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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