last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
someone owes me an orgasm
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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