then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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