So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
