is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I need a burrito and a hug.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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