He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
