may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
