its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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