Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she peed on how many people?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
