At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
