Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
