So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I need to sanitize my soul.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
