I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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