Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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