OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
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Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's shark week go big or go home
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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