i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
This is my gift to your gina
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
