Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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