I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
can u get pink eye on your cock?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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