Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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