Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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