Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize