he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize