i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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