ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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