It's like God shit irony all over that family
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
