He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
