If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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