4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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