whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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