It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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