A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
