I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
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She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
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Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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