I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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