I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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