he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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