I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
