i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
