Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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