seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
