Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
