TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
